Love Is Humble
Love does not brag or vaunt itself; rather it honors and prefers one another.
Romans
Loving through humility requires that you take the position described in Philippians chapter 2, where we are to have the same attitude as Christ Jesus.
Philippians 2:1-8
If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself
and became obedient to death— even death on a cross!
Yet many times we, as couples, in the heat of an argument, begin stacking our decks. In the midst of conflict, we operate out of the principle that “he who has the most cards in his deck, wins!” So we stack our decks by such statements as, “I always do this and this and this . . . and you don’t do anything.” The stacking language of absolutes like, “I always,” and “you never,” builds us up to a higher position, somehow gaining what we perceive to be leverage in the battle. The reality is that this is all about you bragging on you, and not you humbly loving your mate.
Jesus told us on the Sermon on the Mount that our first and primary attitude was this, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven". What Jesus was saying is that if we want to live on this earth with His mindset and live in it as if we were already living in eternity ("thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven"), then we will have to embrace humility. To be "poor in spirit" means that we realize that we are imperfect creatures and are absolutely nothing without Christ. It means that we are in a place with everybody else: in desperate need of Jesus....His forgiveness, His guidance, His help.
When we understand what James says in James 1:17
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.we recognize that the only good in me is Jesus Christ and I had absolutely nothing to do with that other than obedience and surrender. Not much room for boasting when you look at it that way! And think of this: if in the next disagreement you have with your spouse you thought, "How can I put their interest ahead of mine?", and walked in humility, maybe the argument would produce deeper love and spiritual growth instead of disconnectedness and wounding.
So try something new: instead of "I always....you never", try "we need Jesus....let's work together".
Thanks for your post those are the exact words that my husband and I are trying to forget....I have to say I use them more often then he does! We all need encouragement and accountability thanks for this nudge in the right direction! God Bless