Love Is Decent, Moral, and Mannerly
Love does not behave in an unbecoming or unseemly way. The Greek word "aschemoneo", used in 1 Corinthians 13:5, speaks of defying a moral and mannerly standard. Love is not rude or ill mannered. During the early years of our marriage, I loved to tell jokes at Jena’s expense. While you may not think of this as indecent, the reality is that it was dishonoring and rude behavior toward her. The root of the issue was my need to feel important. When my friends laughed and thought I was funny, I felt important. But it is not loving to treat our spouses with disrespect.
We have had many couples, men and women alike, who have shared with us that their spouse makes them feel stupid and minimizes their feelings instead of validating them. That is not decent, moral, and mannerly love.
Finally, decent, moral, and mannerly love carries with it common courtesy. Often when we have guests in our home, the "pleases, thank-you's", and compliments fill the air. Yet when we are at home alone we suddenly treat each other with an entirely different set of rules. In other words, we are not using our manners.
Loving one another in the marriage relationship means you should never be embarrassing, unbecoming, or unseemly at the expense of your mate. It requires respect for one another and choosing to hold your spouse before others in high regard.
Philippians 2:3-4
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
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