Selfishness and a need for personal satisfaction are happening in marriages constantly. Manipulation occurs when a husband and wife, while they are full-grown adults, act like children in big people’s bodies, seeking to manipulate their spouse to meet their needs without ever considering how to minister to them. As we grow through 1 Corinthians 13, we pray that you will see areas in your lives that need to change. We pray you will go from a selfish perspective to a ministry perspective. After all, Christ clearly says that we must decrease so that He can increase. If we want to save our lives, we must lose them, and when we are weak, He is strong. God gives grace to the humble, and our attitude should be the same as Christ as He humbly became a servant. So, are you ready to learn how to love?
Love Is Patient
In other words, love is long-suffering. The original form of the Greek word, makrothumeo, implies forbearance, endurance, with mildness and without resentment or indignation.
In our home, the struggle with patience showed up this way. Since I have a deep desire to feel important, I wanted to be on time to church, showing everybody that I had it all together. But Sundays were often frantic and furious—we woke up late, had children to get ready, and had to prepare for our church duties. For the first eight years of marriage, I would sit in the lounge chair and read the paper while Jena scurried about with the morning duties. When it was time to go, I grew impatient and began yelling, jingling my keys, and honking the car horn. Jena’s and my tempers would flare, and then we would ride to church in silence, supposedly prepared for ministry and worship. Meanwhile resentment and indignation grew against one another. I attempted to control my family—thinking that demonstrated my importance—through my own impatience.
Impatience was also a problem when our expectations weren’t met. Jena had in her mind the kind of spiritual journey I should be on. Many times she criticized me for not praying enough, not reading my Bible enough, or not leading the family the way she thought I should. She was impatient with my spiritual growth. Many a wife’s intentions may be good, and some of the facts true, but because a man’s deep desire is to feel important, the constant sense of failure causes him to retaliate or quit trying.
Being impatient with your spouse can create problems.
Today, we seek to join together in partnership. We are patient with the journey God has for each of us. We work together to get the kids ready for church, and we realize that as individuals, we don’t always approach and handle things the same way, and that’s okay. We don’t nag and demand, but we demonstrate patience, one to the other, with long-suffering, mildness, and endurance. We love intently by praying for and being patient with each other.
One of the most loving things we can do is learn to be patient with one another. Patient in our spouses' spiritual growth, patient with our spouses' daily activities, and patient with our spouses' learning how to be a good spouse! Ask God to help you through the power of His Spirit within you to be more patient and show the love of Jesus. After all, He sure has been patient with us!
Dale and Jena
God has reminded me of this many times, especially when I would be fed up and ready to give up the Holy Spirit nudges me and says but I haven't given up on you.